Bryer…

Bryer.

During a dark today,

I remembered something funny you once said.

And I suddenly laughed.

You’ve been gone more than 7 years,

and today you cheered me up.

Thank you.

Xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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6years, 9months…

Almost 7 years without you.

It’s normal now.

Sometimes I wonder

if you were even really real.

My broken heart tells me you were.

I love you so much Bryer.

I miss you constantly.

Love from Mom. Xx

Home detention…

I only have four sleeps to go.

My anklet comes off in 96 hours.

WoW!!

What a year it’s been!!

The judge gave me a sentence of time.

Time to reflect.

Time to grieve.

Time to accept.

I haven’t gone crazy being stuck at home.

My mind is in a better place than this time last year.

I still cry everyday.

But I’ve begun to live everyday again too.

Grief…

 

It’s always there.

Even when I’m preoccupied with the task at hand,

the grief is never far.

I’ve become used to the weight of it now.

I’ve learnt how to distract myself from it.

I’ve learnt how to live with the agony.

Most of the time…

It’s always there though.

Bryer’s birthday…

Remember remember the sixth of November.

 

You should have been turning fifteen this week.

But you died two and a half years ago.

Where has the time gone?

I’m able to talk about you without crying sometimes now.

Sometimes I can even have a laugh over something you said or did.

The tears still come daily though.

Usually at night.

 

I’ve nearly completed the sentence I received for your death.

My ‘official’ sentence, that is.

You and I both know that my real sentence is living through every day that you lost.

 

You should have been turning fifteen this week.

I’m so sorry Bryer.

I’m so so sorry, my baby.