is my friend
Relaxation and smiles
and laughter as well.
It helps my grief thaw,
and my heart see the light,
it lifts the weight from my soul
at least for tonight….
But hindsight is 20/20.
When you think back,
you can always clearly see signs.
Easily ignored things…
One room that always feels cold.
Field gems burying themselves in the earth.
A child’s dreams of death and dying.
Those are just a few of the things…
You try so hard not to overthink things.
to your own ears.
So you ignore the goosebumps on your arms.
Choosing rational answers.
The same as in her dreams.
Forever leaving you to question
why you didn’t see the signs…
I hear that all the time.
The truth is,
I’m not strong.
I am numb.
Being numb means I don’t have to feel the pain.
That isn’t strong.
Do you like knowing that I’m stuck here?
Do you like it that I miss you?
Do you like to keep me waiting for you?
Do you like my loneliness? Do you even notice it?
Do you think about me after you leave?
Do you miss me?
Do you go out of your way to make time for me?
I get to leave my gilded cage tomorrow.
Six months have passed since my lock was put on.
Tomorrow I’ll remember ‘free’.