Suspicious minds…

The best form of defense, is offence.

My man sometimes goes away for a night or three for “business”.    I’d have to be blind not to notice how every time – without fail – his son, or daughter come and park their butts on my couch for the entire duration of his “trip”.   I actually adore his kids, but I can tell the difference between their social visits to me, and their visits that have another explanation behind them…

I’m being babysat.

I know it isn’t because they love my company that much…

I doubt it’s because my safety is at risk  (every time!)…

I think it’s his way of making sure I don’t screw around while he’s out of town…


I don’t know what to think about that.  Should I be offended that he thinks I would do that to him?

Should I be flattered that he’s worried about losing me?

Should I worry that he has a guilty conscience,  which makes him suspicious of mine?

Just me…

I sit here on a shelf

Time spent thinking...

in my own company

thinking thoughts of the anger


hidden inside me.



Mary-Jane blows a kiss

through the walls of my stare,

she releases my thinking

and I find myself


Surrounded by P-eople…

I lay here and smokefc3557cadd22e46bc9298d1db0028308

as I think over things.

One particular person,

the agenda she brings…

She says shes my friend

as she flirts with my man,

She must think that I’m blind,

that I can’t see pretend.

Another female who gets right up my nose,

is a vain little moron

obsessed with her clothes.

She doesn’t know manners,

she’s damn impolite.

Well, Gods gift to the world

wore my temper last night…

I think of the young guy

who visits most days,

He has low self esteem

and closet drug ways.images (6)

He sleeps in the graveyard,

finding comfort within,

thinking thoughts about dying,

and picking his skin.

I lay here and think,

of the folk who come here.

So many annoy me,

so few I hold dear.


What else would you have me do, aside from wait for you.

I blow smoke rings into the air,  thinking…Image

Thinking about what?  I wonder. 

I knew exactly what was bugging me a few minutes ago,

but right now, I don’t know about anything,

except calm peaceful feelings and smoke rings 

I believe you, I believe you not. . .

I sit here alone, blowing smoke rings into the air.  The tv chatters away to itself in the background of my thoughts. . .     My thoughts are of you. . .   I want to believe you. . .   Image