Let me go…

My anklet is off.

I’m free, I’m free!

Still, you had to turn my world upside down again.

You had to suck the pleasure right out of my freedom.

You left me with no option.

I had to do what was best for me…

I packed a bag, and skipped town.

For the first time in over a year,

I went away.

I got to breathe the sea air.

I got to relax with someone I trust.

I laughed.  I drank.

I was merry.

It felt good to get away.

It felt good to get home again.

I feel recharged.

I feel peaceful and energetic.

I need you to let me go now.

Mind games…

 

It’s a new day and I feel calm.

I sit in bed, surrounded by smoke.

My phone beeps with a good morning text from you.

Surely you don’t expect me to reply.

Don’t…  

images (6)Don’t take me for granted.

Don’t ignore me.

Don’t keep me on a shelf.

Don’t think that I need you.

Don’t mistake my love for weakness.

Don’t underestimate my inner strength.

Don’t assume I will always be here.

Tit for tat…

I won’t reply to your texts anymore, because you don’t reply to mine.

Yes, I know it’s childish of me.

I’ve told you so many times how much it annoys me when you ignore me though.

Annoys, upsets, and embarrass’s me.

I pride myself on not being needy, and I know I text you bugger all – once a day on average.

So wtf is your problem with replying?

Once in a blue moon, you surprise me by sending ME a text. . .

Today was one of those blue moons.

I chose not to reply – just to show you how it feels.

I admit that I giggled to myself when you text again an hour later, asking if I got your msg.

Image I chose to ignore that one as well.

Do you feel silly texting someone who doesn’t care enough to reply?

Are you wondering what I could be doing that’s more important than replying to you?

Has it crossed your mind that maybe I don’t mean it when I tell you how important you are to me?

Has it occurred to you that I may have had some sort of disaster?

I know how small I feel when you ignore me…

What do you think now?  How do you feel?

White noise…

There’s nothing I detest more, than a guest who ignores my “It’s time for you to go” vibe.

I’m a polite person by nature, I don’t like to hurt feelings, but OMG, sometimes I literally have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from screaming  at said guest to “Fuck off!!”

Tonight it took me two & a half hours to get one particular repeat-offender-overstaying visitor out the door, I even went so far as to blatantly stop listening to her, and buried my nose in my beloved laptop instead.  Still she babbled on – about absolutely nothing of interest either, I might add.  I must strike her as someone who cares about what time her cat came inside yesterday afternoon, or what some random bloke at some random gas station was eating…     Is it my hair?  Or do I sit in a certain “bore-me-to-death” kind of way?

I’m the type of person who can appreciate the art of a comfortable silence, its a precious thing to be able to share.    Tonight I can honestly say that my ears are still ringing from her constant white-noise chatter.

Only a lovely smoke will make me feel better at this stage…ImageOhhh yeah…  My world is peaceful once more.

Tick tock. . .

I sit here waiting.  Hoping.  Wondering…

It has been 5 nights since I saw you.

I wonder how long until you want to see me again.

I’m not going to invite you this time.

I’m not going to call you, or text or anything.

I’m letting you show me your “love”.

I know that this experiment could backfire & badly hurt me.

But I want to know my level of importance in your life.

Only then will I think about considering the future that you talk about.Image