Like a stone…

What can I say when the words won’t come?

The pain just sits in my heart like a giant weight,

that keeps on growing…

How do I cry when my tears have dried up?

Emotions are stuck in my throat,

like lumps.

I’ve been strong for so long,

through my grief,

I’ve gone on…

But now I feel cold,

like a stone.

.

Bryer.

Each morning brings the same heartbreak.

A nightmare that is lived awake.

Split second choice I once did make.

My daughter died from that mistake.

Three years of tears could fill a lake.

The strength you see is all a fake.

If it was them, their “life they’d take”.

But I’ll grow old…  For Bryers sake.

 

 

.

Memories of Bryer…

Bryer.

Today I opened a box full of memories

and the first thing I saw

was your beautiful face

smiling up at me…Bryer.

 

 

It’s been two and a half years

since I saw your smile.

How have I survived so long…

when my heart died

with you.

 

 

Don’t mind my business…

 

I struggle some days.

My burdens are heavy,

and I struggle.

Some days I just want to be numb.

Who has the right to judge how I cope?

Bryer’s birthday…

Remember remember the sixth of November.

 

You should have been turning fifteen this week.

But you died two and a half years ago.

Where has the time gone?

I’m able to talk about you without crying sometimes now.

Sometimes I can even have a laugh over something you said or did.

The tears still come daily though.

Usually at night.

 

I’ve nearly completed the sentence I received for your death.

My ‘official’ sentence, that is.

You and I both know that my real sentence is living through every day that you lost.

 

You should have been turning fifteen this week.

I’m so sorry Bryer.

I’m so so sorry, my baby.

Ashes to ashes…

 

Contents of a wooden box,

waiting patiently until love can let go.

 

Dreaming of the wind,

A vague recollection of leaves

dancing in time to the sound of musical chimes.

Distant memories of hair blowing wildly

against the skin of a cheek.

Caresses of a warm breeze

echoing in a half lost memory.

 

Final remnants of unconditional love

suspended in time, until acceptance settles,

enabling the strength to scatter lost hopes

and dreams.