Tit for tat…

I won’t reply to your texts anymore, because you don’t reply to mine.

Yes, I know it’s childish of me.

I’ve told you so many times how much it annoys me when you ignore me though.

Annoys, upsets, and embarrass’s me.

I pride myself on not being needy, and I know I text you bugger all – once a day on average.

So wtf is your problem with replying?

Once in a blue moon, you surprise me by sending ME a text. . .

Today was one of those blue moons.

I chose not to reply – just to show you how it feels.

I admit that I giggled to myself when you text again an hour later, asking if I got your msg.

Image I chose to ignore that one as well.

Do you feel silly texting someone who doesn’t care enough to reply?

Are you wondering what I could be doing that’s more important than replying to you?

Has it crossed your mind that maybe I don’t mean it when I tell you how important you are to me?

Has it occurred to you that I may have had some sort of disaster?

I know how small I feel when you ignore me…

What do you think now?  How do you feel?

Enjoying the simple pleasures…

I get to leave my gilded cage tomorrow.

For three whole hours, I can go out and see…Image

Six months have passed since my lock was put on.

Tomorrow I’ll remember ‘free’.

A bag of white lies…

The thrill isn’t thrilling.

I’m not feeling a buzz.

I’m sick of you trying to rip me off.

I hate the shit that surrounds you – the people aren’t real.

I can tell you’ve been cut, and you won’t ever heal.

Your murderers should be shot.

I hate what people will do for you.

They’ll do it for me, but because of you too.

I like monkey shadows,  and the noise in my ear,

the pole dancing pig with her laugh that I hear…

Down deep in my heart, the truth I do know,

I need a small break, but I  don’t want to let go…images (6)

Money talks…

A chick I know has just turned up on my doorstep – says she’s “broken up with her boyfriend (she says that weekly)  and can she “please Nike a bag to celebrate?”…

I guess now she’ll wish she hadn’t fucked me around those times in the past…  Besides, I told her last time, when I finally tracked her down, that it wouldn’t happen again…   And I meant it.

C.U.N.T !!     Image  Cash up no tick.

Crab apple jelly, and a snort…

It’s a cold sunny morning here and I’m craving delicious homemade crab-apple jam on toast .

I’ve got a busy day ahead, and the little bag on my dresser waits patiently while I eat…

I’m ready to get cracking now, and my nose tingles with anticipation.

…and UP she goes  ..    Owww    Oww…   OUCH!!

I feel the effect immediately – What a rush!!!

My toes start tapping while my nose runs.

Mimages (6)y head is Crystal clear.

Bloody Mary.

I delicately roll my smoke.  I’m in a calm mood tonight.  

 My feelings are still hurt,  but I feel peaceful and light .     

Puff, puff, blow. . .

Mary  always has time for me.  

The coat Mary wears tonight is new.

 It’s furry and thick with the loveliest dark purple flecks, and that fabulous new coat smell.

“Mary Mary quite contrary. . .”

“Believe it or not I’m walking on air ….”

My random thoughts-of-everything start to hum to the tune of various songs ,

and my thoughts-of-nothing begin doing fancy “Nightfever” moves behind my eyes.

Mary looks into my eyes again,   and my mouth goes dry from her stare. . .

  *It’s now an hour (ish) later –  I’ve been struck dumb!Image

Bloody Mary got me good and proper this time!!  🙂

Goodnight.

A friend in need…

I sit here again,  in the same seat, facing the same direction, hearing the same t.v, doing the same thing, at the same time, in the same place…  

I’m lonely sometimes.      

I drink my lonely beer, and catch up with a lonely buddy.

We blow lonely smoke rings together…

I feel my thoughts unwinding, and a chill-out coming

“Time for another beer.”   I say.

The silence is filled with my good buddy’s grin,  

and I grin back at my buddy,  Imagemy friend indeed.

 

White noise…

There’s nothing I detest more, than a guest who ignores my “It’s time for you to go” vibe.

I’m a polite person by nature, I don’t like to hurt feelings, but OMG, sometimes I literally have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from screaming  at said guest to “Fuck off!!”

Tonight it took me two & a half hours to get one particular repeat-offender-overstaying visitor out the door, I even went so far as to blatantly stop listening to her, and buried my nose in my beloved laptop instead.  Still she babbled on – about absolutely nothing of interest either, I might add.  I must strike her as someone who cares about what time her cat came inside yesterday afternoon, or what some random bloke at some random gas station was eating…     Is it my hair?  Or do I sit in a certain “bore-me-to-death” kind of way?

I’m the type of person who can appreciate the art of a comfortable silence, its a precious thing to be able to share.    Tonight I can honestly say that my ears are still ringing from her constant white-noise chatter.

Only a lovely smoke will make me feel better at this stage…ImageOhhh yeah…  My world is peaceful once more.