Old friends…

Red wine & smoking,

a mellow night with my friend.

Memory lane stalking,

with a Mary-Jane blend.

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Stella…

 

When Stella lost her mojo,images (2)

the colours turned to gray.

She roamed the streets of Limbo,

she forgot to laugh and play.

Her shed became a hidey hole,

her projects gathered dust.

In that smoke filled room,

Stella sat with her gloom,

and picked holes in herself with disgust.

 

 

Thank you for the first line M8M8. Xx

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Bloody Mary…

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,

how does your nose not grow?42248-All-Lies

It’s fabrications you tell,

plain deceit that you sell…

Truth always comes out,

don’t you know…

 

 

 

.

 

 

Wasted timing…

Bottomless eyes

staring deep into space,

while smoke slowly drifts to the sky.

Lovingly lost

deep in Nothings embrace,

unaware,  in the bliss,  flying high.

 

 

 

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Wasted Monday…

Puffing the day away.

Songs out of tune.

Head in the clouds.

A high afternoon.

Dance around solo.

Skip to no beat.

Wasting the moment.

Smoking a treat.

 

 

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Mellow moments…

A peaceful companion

I find in myself.

Today’s woes are slipping away.

Smoke drifts through the air.

A forgotten warm beer.

Mary-Jane takes her place,

centre stage.

 

 

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Swing high…

I like to go swinging

at the drop of a hat,

flying high through the air

I’m a shed acrobat.

 

Mary-Jane joins me

we blow smoke to the sky

I like to go swinging

Late at night, getting high.

Pulling myself together…

 

…And so begins a new day.

A day to hold my head high, and thus rescue my pride.

A day to busy my hands, in the hope that my thoughts will busy themselves too.

A day to surround myself with smoke, a coping mechanism.

 

Moments of clarity…

Smoke fills my brain

dulling my senses.

My emotions are null and void.

I’m now able to hear my head speak 

without the interruption from my heart.

Our time has come.

Its been long enough.

A full stop is on standby,

waiting only for my nod.

 

 

What keeps stopping me?

Time flies…

 

Puffing away on a crystal orb,

Searching for the elusive high…

Feet that won’t leave the ground,

Accepting frustration, no sting in sight

I turn away from the bowl….

 

 

Mary-Jane watches my desperate dance,

She smiles, and takes my hand.

We twirl together, in time to the music playing in my head,

tapping our toes to the tune.

Watching the hours wave, on their way pass…

Why bother?…

At the end of the day, when all is said and done,  I still sit here alone.images (6)

I have no real say in our relationship, it’s your way or the highway.

You choose when I see you, you choose what we do.   You choose what we eat and you choose when we go to bed. You choose what program we watch, and you choose what side you sleep on.  You choose our fuck position, hell, you even choose when we fuck.

I won’t bother asking you for sex again – I’ve learnt you leave me hanging.

I won’t bother wearing sexy lingerie for you again – I’ve learnt you don’t notice.

I won’t bother texting you good morning again – I’ve learnt I’ll get no reply.

I won’t bother inviting you for dinner again – I’ve learnt how busy you are.

I’ll try not to feel jealous or insecure again – I’ve learnt that makes you angry.

I won’t bother waiting when you “hope” to get here soon – I’ve learnt “hope” means nope.

I won’t bother giving any more of myself to you.  I’ve learnt I only get crumbs of your life in return.

Walking on eggshells…

One of us gets to choose when we see each other.

One of us doesn’t have to justify anything.images (6)

One of us has the pleasure of being waited on hand and foot.

One of us has sex on tap.

One of us is never wrong.

One of us is always a top priority.

One of us wins an argument with violence.

One of us uses the silent-treatment to punish.

One of us doesn’t realise how close they are to not being one of us anymore.

Back to basics…

Another night in by myself.images (6)

Mary-Jane and I sit quietly together,

holding hands.

Smoke drifts through the air,

and the room fills with peace.

My body calms, and my thoughts relax, peacefully.

Chocolate calls my name.

My soul sighs with deep relief,

as I head off to bed with a smile.

I might be rude, but my manners are not.

I’m high as a kite and can’t stay on track.

There’s so much I could be doing, and I’m trying to do it all…

Sidetracked again…

A trail of mess behind me.

The fire is roaring,  and I’m shedding more and more clothes.

The view is great from up here on the ceiling…

Bouncing around in circles,  floating, flying, twirling.

Eyes watching me from the wall.

Mary-Jane calls me to sit down with her, to sit and twist…

I would be rude not to.

And would I like fries with my order?

Why yes, yes I would.

images (6)

Everything and nothing…

It’s wet and quiet here tonight, and my thoughts are detached from my mind.

Chain tobacco, and green beers keep me warm,

and the fire whispers from it’s place in the corner .

I sit here alone, by myself, and I think.

My thoughts are heavy, and weighing me down.  Tense, is my shoulders woe…

Then Mary reaches out to me,   so I pick up my bic, and reach back.

Puff, puff…                                          …and one for ‘good luck…

“That’s the bugger”  My thoughts say to Mary.

My body relax’s and molds to the couch,  and my troubles reduce half their size,

I lose track of time as I nicely unwind,

I feel everything settle,  I think .

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb,   merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily….

Could my life really be  ‘but a dream..’?Image

A friend in need…

I sit here again,  in the same seat, facing the same direction, hearing the same t.v, doing the same thing, at the same time, in the same place…  

I’m lonely sometimes.      

I drink my lonely beer, and catch up with a lonely buddy.

We blow lonely smoke rings together…

I feel my thoughts unwinding, and a chill-out coming

“Time for another beer.”   I say.

The silence is filled with my good buddy’s grin,  

and I grin back at my buddy,  Imagemy friend indeed.

 

Smiling…

I’ve got a smokey smile on.  With thoughts of all, and the feelings to match.

Kicking back on the couch with my feet up.  

Beer and I sit here, together, in peace. Image 

Smiling at nothing much, and not even really listening to whatever the tv has to say.   

 

White noise…

There’s nothing I detest more, than a guest who ignores my “It’s time for you to go” vibe.

I’m a polite person by nature, I don’t like to hurt feelings, but OMG, sometimes I literally have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from screaming  at said guest to “Fuck off!!”

Tonight it took me two & a half hours to get one particular repeat-offender-overstaying visitor out the door, I even went so far as to blatantly stop listening to her, and buried my nose in my beloved laptop instead.  Still she babbled on – about absolutely nothing of interest either, I might add.  I must strike her as someone who cares about what time her cat came inside yesterday afternoon, or what some random bloke at some random gas station was eating…     Is it my hair?  Or do I sit in a certain “bore-me-to-death” kind of way?

I’m the type of person who can appreciate the art of a comfortable silence, its a precious thing to be able to share.    Tonight I can honestly say that my ears are still ringing from her constant white-noise chatter.

Only a lovely smoke will make me feel better at this stage…ImageOhhh yeah…  My world is peaceful once more.

Mary-Jane.

It’s the end of my day,  I need to relax. . .   I roll myself a smoke & disappear out to my porch-swing.   The moon is full & stars are out in full force – shining like the beloved memories of loved ones, high above the earth.   I light my smoke & have a deep drag on it, blowing it out again, watching the smoke drift towards heaven.  Another drag, & then another. . .   Oh yes, the stress’s from my day are fading away.   I’m smiling over random thoughts that make no sense at all.   I stretch & yawn.  I’ve had enough of my smoke now, it’s time to go back inside & curl up so I can think my peaceful, mellow thoughts alone.   My eyes will close soon, allowing my mind to open up to the worldImage of the sleeping thinkers.