thinking cracked thoughts about us.
I’m halfway there, till the end of the year,
when I’ll arrive unannounced, if I must.
There’s nothing I detest more, than a guest who ignores my “It’s time for you to go” vibe.
I’m a polite person by nature, I don’t like to hurt feelings, but OMG, sometimes I literally have to bite my tongue to prevent myself from screaming at said guest to “Fuck off!!”
Tonight it took me two & a half hours to get one particular repeat-offender-overstaying visitor out the door, I even went so far as to blatantly stop listening to her, and buried my nose in my beloved laptop instead. Still she babbled on – about absolutely nothing of interest either, I might add. I must strike her as someone who cares about what time her cat came inside yesterday afternoon, or what some random bloke at some random gas station was eating… Is it my hair? Or do I sit in a certain “bore-me-to-death” kind of way?
I’m the type of person who can appreciate the art of a comfortable silence, its a precious thing to be able to share. Tonight I can honestly say that my ears are still ringing from her constant white-noise chatter.
I sit here waiting. Hoping. Wondering…
It has been 5 nights since I saw you.
I wonder how long until you want to see me again.
I’m not going to invite you this time.
I’m not going to call you, or text or anything.
I’m letting you show me your “love”.
I know that this experiment could backfire & badly hurt me.
But I want to know my level of importance in your life.