6years, 9months…

Almost 7 years without you.

It’s normal now.

Sometimes I wonder

if you were even really real.

My broken heart tells me you were.

I love you so much Bryer.

I miss you constantly.

Love from Mom. Xx

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Goodbyes and highs…

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The sun came out this morning,

it was shining from my eyes.

I woke, anticipating,

a fat pocket full of highs.

I’m gonna numb out all the sadness,

I’ll fill my world up with false light.

Ignoring those who judge me…

cos unbroken hearts don’t have that right…

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Day by day…

Some days

are the worst days,

nothing is ok.

Wallowing in sorrow,

and content to live that way.

 

The good days

well forgotten,

when the hard ones

come to stay.

Some days are the worst days,

the worst day is today.

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Like a stone…

What can I say when the words won’t come?

The pain just sits in my heart like a giant weight,

that keeps on growing…

How do I cry when my tears have dried up?

Emotions are stuck in my throat,

like lumps.

I’ve been strong for so long,

through my grief,

I’ve gone on…

But now I feel cold,

like a stone.

.

1 year closer to Heaven…

Another year starts without seeing my baby.

She’s another year further away.

Another long year since i last held my baby.

Another year closer to ‘one day’…

 

 

 

 

 

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Happy birthday in Heaven…

Chain smoking and tears

is on my agenda for today.

Happy 16th birthday to my precious daughter.

I wish it was happy.

 

 

 

 

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I lie…

I tell the world that I’m ok,

a well placed smile hides my lie.

My pain is deeply locked away

till we’re alone,┬ámy grief and I.

It’s not myself that I’m deceiving,

to understand you’d have to know….

My childs death I’m always grieving,

my broken heart won’t let me go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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