Category Archives: random

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Entitled to nothing…

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Nicola Sooks…

Here she goes again,

With the sympathy cry

“Poor me, life’s hard,

I’m a victim, Got a fry…?”

Crocodile tears

and a dropped bottom lip,

she blabs everyone’s business

with a big shoulder chip.

The self pity goes on

like a record that’s stuck.

The pick-pocket liar

crying

“Why does life suck…”

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Grownup stuff..

I like my knives and forks to be tidy

inside the knives and forks drawer.

Organised.

My coffee cups matter too.

Upside down on the shelf

facing the same direction.

Strictly

I never mix my peg colours.

They have to match each other.

These things feel important to me.

Being an adult is much less exciting than I thought it was going to be…

I

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Own worst enemy…

Stacey’s Brain is full of worms.

Her nasty mouth

spits verbal germs.

She’s “the only one whose right”.

To disagree will start a fight.

Too much time is on her hands,

bone idle, bludging, food demands.

A closet bag, she sits and fries,

“Iv got manners” and other lies.

Stacey’s brain is full of rot,

offending every friend she’s got.

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Clutter…

I wish we had elastic walls.

The space we’d have is plenty.

No clutter everywhere I look,

Perhaps a guest room, sometimes empty.

I wish we had elastic walls,

I’d love to have a craft space.

No projects piled underfoot,

No projects piled out of place.

We haven’t got elastic walls.

Our house is bursting at the seams.

Clutter piled everywhere.

It’s even piled in my dreams…

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Bad books…

I’m sleeping over,

Iv been run out of home.

It’s the doghouse for me,

My friends spare bed’s on loan.

I can’t shut my mouth,

I have opinions to say.

So I’m back in his bad books,

And sent on my way.

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On the run…

The Angel digs his heels in,

and runs off with his brothers.

Left behind, I do not mind,

This time away from others.

My temper’s blown over.

The air is calm and clear.

When the Angel’s finished running,

he’ll come home,

and I’ll be here.

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Hate…

I have begun to hate you…

The way you sit on your high horse,

thinking you’re without fault,

while everyone around you competes for the best position

to kiss your fat ass.

I have begun to hate you…

Your slobbish, and grotty habits,

that make it a full time, despicable job,

for which you practically need a team of cleaners

attached to your heels

every minute of every day and night,

merely to keep the place clean-ish.

I have begun to hate you…

The snide remarks about me to (the constant stream of) visitors,

designed to make everybody laugh,

while a tiny bit more of my self esteem

shrivels up and abandons me.

I have begun to hate you.

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Goodbyes and highs…

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The sun came out this morning,

it was shining from my eyes.

I woke, anticipating,

a fat pocket full of highs.

I’m gonna numb out all the sadness,

I’ll fill my world up with false light.

Ignoring those who judge me…

cos unbroken hearts don’t have that right…

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Insecure Me…

It’s an insecure evening,

why aren’t you answering your phone?

My imagination’s wild,

it’s got a mind all of its own.

Yesterday was warm with love,

tonight I’m frozen out.

Every time we get too close,

you fuel my self doubt.

It’s an insecure evening,

I need to know that you still care…

Just acknowledge that I called you,

cos your silence is unfair.
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Wallflower…

The wallflower prepares

for a night on the town.

He’s slow picking her up,

but quick standing her down.

She watches the fun

from her place in the shade,

he ignores her all night,

she becomes more dismayed.

Why does he invite her

to be at his side?

It’s clear to all there

she’s just along for the ride…

 

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A simple pleasure…

Watching the dogs

sprint past

in the cool night air.

Breathing.

The quiet breeze

gently ruffles my hair,

and the darkness

surrounds everything.

Breathing.

Remembering.

I remember that you’re gone.

Like a giant slap in the face,

a freight train smashes into my heart,

and I hear sobbing

deep inside my soul.

 

I’m so sorry Baby.

 

I grit my teeth.

The crushing in my chest

settles into a familiar heavy ache,

and the breeze ruffles harder,

reminding me

not to miss a second

of living.

To bask in every moment of life.

 

On your behalf,

if not my own.

Xx

 

 

 

 

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Leather and lace…

He is as soft and deep

as he is hard and cold.

A complex man.

He rides at the front,

proudly leading his brothers.

The death head he wears

is a force to be reckoned with.

The world panders to his title.

His power.

His absolute power.

His absolute power corrupts…

He is hard and scary.

He is warm and cuddly.

He came to me for a reason.

And a season.

But not a lifetime.

 

 

 

 

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Two to tango…

And still, we try…

Dinner, wine, snort,

and more wine…

Apple pie and ice cream

with wine…

Awkward conversation

mingles with the accusations

in each others eyes…

Neither one willing to speak

about the real problem…

Anger.

Guilt.

Hurt.

Guilt.

Those who are without sin

may cast the first stone…

We both stand on similar ground.

We both have every reason to feel angry.

Guilty,

and hurt.

 

 

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An overreaction…

A little wee molehill

started it’s day,

discussing a comment

it overheard someone say.

Words took on tones

and the tones became loud,

and the molehill grew bigger

with the noise of the crowd.

Tempers erupted

and proportions were blown,

and the molehill kept growing

each time anger was shown.

War was declared,

and so ends this recount,

of the little wee molehill,

that grew into a mount.

 

 

 

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Confusion…

Running hot, running cold

keeping me in line.

Ignore me when I speak against,

how dare I undermine…

Days go by with nights alone,

my heart begins to pine…

But I know that underneath it all,

you’ve never thought you’re mine.

I face the facts and let you go,

you see that as the sign,

to turn up full of charm and love,

as though everything is fine.

 

 

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My mourning…

Do you see the sadness in my eyes,

or would it come as a surprise

to find out that my heart is hollow,

or how much of my hurt I swallow..?

 

Do you notice my unhappy soul?

Each tear I cry taking it’s toll..

My endless pain is worse each day,

my rock developed feet of clay…

 

The grief I carry haunts my mind

the child’s face, time left behind.

I struggle through another week

with sorrow rolling down my cheek.

 

 

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Grey days…

A long ago friend

who went right off the rail

made a few bad decisions

and wound up in jail.

Years have gone by

since we had any ties,

tonight the phone rang

with a delightful surprise.

Hes earned back his freedom

by serving his time

By far alot wiser

about dancing with crime.

I look forward to a visit

from my long ago mate,

We’ll reminisce on the old days

I can’t bloody wait.

 

 

 

 

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Missing my Miss…

I miss you today.

I miss you everyday

but today I can’t numb it.

I’ll keep trying though…

I’ll do anything to escape this pain.

I gave you life.

Then I took it away.

Your life.

I’m so sorry Baby.

Be mad at me.

Be sad at me.

Be anything.

But don’t be gone.

 

 

 

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One side ride…

A one sided visit

from a one sided man,

with a one sided dinner

as the one sided plan.

One sided business,

then some one sided pleasure,

throw in one sided snoring

for one sided good measure.

 

 

 

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Who,what,when,how…

How did I become his enemy?

A soft word is a thing of the past.

Dislike oozes when he looks at me.

when did I become his enemy?

 

How did he lose his love for me?

A caring touch no longer comes.

Disinterest rings when he speaks to me.

When did he lose his love for me?

 

How did he stop wanting me?

We’ve had so many good times.

Now he can’t even look at me.

When did he stop wanting me?

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Fat goodbye…

It’s time for a smoke,

time to relax my mind.

My thoughts are chaotic,

I need to unwind.

He hasn’t been back,

it’s been over a week.

I’m sick of this silence,

I want a man who can speak!

I’ll sit here and smoke

thinking thoughts full of spite.

I’m better off with no bloke,

than one who’s never not right.

 

 

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Lost…

Her lock of hair sits in a box.

My broken heart continues beating.

Life carry’s on, she’s left back in time.

Minutes with her were too fleeting.

Her soul stands beside me

unseen are her tears.

She wishes I’d live without pain.

But my arms want my girl,

my eyes ache for her face.

Every morning the hurt starts again.

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Last chance…

You’ll “pull up your socks”.

You “don’t want us estranged”.

You’re “fixing your ways”.

The Leopards spots have changed.

You’ll start “showing me love”.

You’ll start “treating me kind”.

You’ll “respect how I feel”

when I’m speaking my mind.

I won’t need to fear

when your temper is burning

One more chance and I’ll see

it’s a new leaf you’re turning.

It’s hard to say no

to the charm in your eye…

“This time will be different”.

This one final last try.