Janine…

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The Ex with green eyes,

has a sharp ax to grind…

She can’t stand he’s moved on,

and her advances declined.

She’s blinded by rage.

She’s gone crazy with spite.

Their son is her weapon,

and it’s me in her sight.

 

 

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Unexpected trigger…

I passed a hearse as I was driving home from work last night.   Out of the blue, memories came flooding back…   I remembered your hearse.  It was white; I chose white for your hearse.  It seemed appropriate because you were “still a little girl”…

I remembered that conversation with the funeral home director as I was driving home from work last night, and the tears started pouring out of me.

I cried so hard that the road was blurry.  I heard my sobbing as I was driving along, and I relaxed and cried my heart out.

Before you died, I told you I would cry forever.  But the truth is that I spend most of my time holding the hurt in.  Holding my tears in.  Being strong.  Allowing myself to live somewhere between blocking you from my thoughts, and not forgetting you for a single second.

It’s almost 8 years since you died.  Since I crashed the car that you died in.    My life has gone on, but yours ended that day.

That’s not fair.

I passed a hearse as I was driving home from work last night.

 

 

An unexpected trigger.

Ostracized…

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I feel awkward again.

Invisible, and small.

You turn me into a stranger,

I don’t belong with you all.


From pedastal to shelf,

It’s a long way to fall.

Now I’m gathering dust.

I’m invisible, and small.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 word…

You give me 1 loving word,

and I’m under your thumb.

I’ll bend over backwards,

for 1 loving crumb.

Our routine’s well practiced.

We both know our role.

You can treat me so coldly,

then 1 word warms my soul.

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Intermission…

I’m not your girlfriend.

I don’t even rank.

You’re sick of my shit.

Your sex drive is blank.

===================

I’ve lost my backbone.

Just roll over and cry.

I want you to love me.

I want you to try…

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Trust…

A little bit of honesty,

helps trust begin to flow.

Ignorance ain’t always bliss,

My gut knows something I don’t know…

I’m not a jealous person,

but seeds of secrecy will grow.

Thank you for your honesty.

The gift of truth you did bestow.

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