Category Archives: high

by

A long day…

 

Wide awake, mind buzzing.

Thoughts in every direction.

Can’t sit still, can’t lie straight.

Watching hours pass by.

Shadow monkeys play loudly.

Out my window, in the moonlight.

Bedtime nags me to get closer.

I need help to relax.

Mary-Jane blows me over.

I can finally sleep.

by

The Mulberry bush…

 

Around and around we go, stuck on the same song.

broken_record

 

Things coast along nicely for a week or two,

then you back off me, suddenly.

For the next few weeks, your visits are far and few between,

and always well after midnight…

I don’t hear from you at all, outside of odd booty calls.

I begin to feel hurt and angry.

It bothers me to the point of misery,

so I decide it’s time I let go of you.

But as I reach my breaking point,

you turn on your charm…

You have time for me.

I feel attractive to you.

I feel wanted, loved and important.

I let my guard down.

Things coast along nicely for a week or two…

 

And around we go,  stuck on the same song.

by

Boss of me…

You scare me when we fight.

I stop knowing who you are.

I’ve learnt to still my smart mouth

But that doesn’t get me far.

 

I’m wrong to disagree with you

no self defense from me.

How dare I walk out of the room

Disrespect is what you see.

You call me names

You mock my tears

You pretend it’s time to hit

You’re thrice my size and much more strong

You scare me out of shit.

 

Then off you storm in cold hard rage

I’m sobbing out my eyes.

The silent treatment takes the stage

Til I apologize.

 

 

by

Zip it.

A worn out welcome hovers

around the house guest that doesn’t leave.

At ‘goodbye’ time,

the tears begin…

“What have I done wrong?”

 

‘Leaving time’ doesn’t usually mean you’ve done something wrong,

But seeing as you ask….

 

A moments peace would have been nice, while you stay here

in my own home.

You talk about nothing.

Then you talk about talking about nothing.

My ears are sore from your nonstop yapping.

You talk too much 

for someone as used to the quiet as I am.

My head is done in,

and it’s time for you to go home.

Save your tears for someone else’s ears.

 

Things would be different

if just once,

for just one minute,

you would just zip it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

by

Suspicious minds…

The best form of defense, is offence.

My man sometimes goes away for a night or three for “business”.    I’d have to be blind not to notice how every time – without fail – his son, or daughter come and park their butts on my couch for the entire duration of his “trip”.   I actually adore his kids, but I can tell the difference between their social visits to me, and their visits that have another explanation behind them…

I’m being babysat.

I know it isn’t because they love my company that much…

I doubt it’s because my safety is at risk  (every time!)…

I think it’s his way of making sure I don’t screw around while he’s out of town…

 

I don’t know what to think about that.  Should I be offended that he thinks I would do that to him?

Should I be flattered that he’s worried about losing me?

Should I worry that he has a guilty conscience,  which makes him suspicious of mine?

by

Eleven weeks and four days to go…

Time doesn’t exist in this now

Counting down weeks

Completion is in sight

A sentence will end

  The sentence has begun

                                                  Wishing to turn back days

                                                  Willing nights to hurry past

                                                  Dreaming of just one more moment

 

by

Time flies…

 

Puffing away on a crystal orb,

Searching for the elusive high…

Feet that won’t leave the ground,

Accepting frustration, no sting in sight

I turn away from the bowl….

 

 

Mary-Jane watches my desperate dance,

She smiles, and takes my hand.

We twirl together, in time to the music playing in my head,

tapping our toes to the tune.

Watching the hours wave, on their way pass…

         
         Related articles
by

Tonight…

You and me

Spending my day getting everything done

so that I can spend time with you tonight – as planned…

Fine!

 

 

 

 

The sinking feeling in my stomach when you arrive,

only to tell me you “had forgotten that you already had something else planned – sorry…”

 

 

 

 

Putting my walls back up as I acknowledge to myself

Rejected

that you will always cancel on me when something else comes up…

by

Why bother?…

At the end of the day, when all is said and done,  I still sit here alone.images (6)

I have no real say in our relationship, it’s your way or the highway.

You choose when I see you, you choose what we do.   You choose what we eat and you choose when we go to bed. You choose what program we watch, and you choose what side you sleep on.  You choose our fuck position, hell, you even choose when we fuck.

I won’t bother asking you for sex again – I’ve learnt you leave me hanging.

I won’t bother wearing sexy lingerie for you again – I’ve learnt you don’t notice.

I won’t bother texting you good morning again – I’ve learnt I’ll get no reply.

I won’t bother inviting you for dinner again – I’ve learnt how busy you are.

I’ll try not to feel jealous or insecure again – I’ve learnt that makes you angry.

I won’t bother waiting when you “hope” to get here soon – I’ve learnt “hope” means nope.

I won’t bother giving any more of myself to you.  I’ve learnt I only get crumbs of your life in return.

Lonely girl
Related articles
by

Deja Vu…

Now isn’t our time.images (6)

Inside fate is where we walk our separate paths.  Our separate lessons.                                            

Collected memories lay buried, half forgotten in our soul.                                            

Kindred spirits sparking flames together.

 

 

Waiting through a lifetime.  Hours passing bring us closer to each other.

I know who you are.  Your soul gives me glimpses of someone I recognise.

Long ago love.

Destined to meet again.  Our paths are intertwined.            

Eternal time is ours.

Related articles
by

Back to basics…

Another night in by myself.images (6)

Mary-Jane and I sit quietly together,

holding hands.

Smoke drifts through the air,

and the room fills with peace.

My body calms, and my thoughts relax, peacefully.

Chocolate calls my name.

My soul sighs with deep relief,

as I head off to bed with a smile.

Related articles
by

Surrounded by P-eople…

I lay here and smokefc3557cadd22e46bc9298d1db0028308

as I think over things.

One particular person,

the agenda she brings…

She says shes my friend

as she flirts with my man,

She must think that I’m blind,

that I can’t see pretend.

Another female who gets right up my nose,

is a vain little moron
webcam-toy-photo5

obsessed with her clothes.

She doesn’t know manners,

she’s damn impolite.

Well, Gods gift to the world

wore my temper last night…

I think of the young guy

who visits most days,

He has low self esteem

and closet drug ways.images (6)

He sleeps in the graveyard,

finding comfort within,

thinking thoughts about dying,

and picking his skin.

I lay here and think,

of the folk who come here.

So many annoy me,

so few I hold dear.

Related articles
by

The real deal…

I didn’t insist that you prove your love,images (6)

I didn’t ask you to lay it all out.

I didn’t expect you to give me the world,

I didn’t think I’d let go of my doubt.

I thought that we were over,

I thought your love had died.

I thought I’d simply let you go,

I thought to save my pride.

You came and picked my pieces up,

You won my distrust war.

You offer me your hand through life,rose1

You are my rock,

and more.

Related articles
by

Mary’s magic mushies, & Me…

Mary-Jane hot boxes my bedroom,images (6)

with Shroom powder sprinkled in…

My mellow smile turns into a super grin.

Fast movements speed past in slow motion.

A blur settles around the edge of my vision.

There’s a good feeling in my stomach

That matches the one in my cheeks.

Another mixed-up-Mary success.

 

 

Related articles
by

Fool me once, shame on you…

You finally showed your face today.

After I busted you and you stormed out, and then ignored me for a week,

I was abit impressed you had enough balls to come here today.images (6)

Admittedly, it wasn’t a personal visit,  we needed to do some business,

and business matters must always be kept separate from personal ones…

So, how the fuck did we manage to end up in bed then?

It wasn’t even slightly romantic,  just fast, hard sex.

The exact sort of sex I was needing.

I didn’t intend to look you in the eye at all, I even tried to keep mine shut so I wouldn’t,

but at one stage, I opened them, and accidentally looked straight into your eyes,

and what I saw surprised me. . .

You’ve been missing me.

Afterwards I got straight up and started getting dressed, with my cold shoulder facing you.

That’s when you said it…

“I did not fuck her”

I’m quite certain all busted partners say the same thing, so I ignored it and just carried on being cold to you.

You sat up, and gently grabbed my chin, making me look at you

“I said i didn’t fucken fuck her”.

I am not some gullible moron that gets sucked in easily by bullshit,

but I looked at you as you said that – I looked deeply…

And I believed you.

Uh-oh… that means I’m an asshole!

A jealous, suspicious, assuming asshole!

I’m not usually the jealous type though,

and your behavior WAS  a classic example of guilt…

I’m suddenly not sure about what I think I know at all.

I’m glad you’ve gone now because I need to mull this over in my head, on my own.

I believed what you said,  and i know what I know.

I know that facts can be twisted,  I know that shitstirrers exist.

I also know how very much I WANT to believe you.

I’ll think this through at my own pace,  hell, I’ll even investigate this and that if need be.

My lust for you will make me biased, so give me distance until I reach my verdict.

Please.

In other words,  don’t call me, I’ll call you…

Related articles
by

I wonder what today will bring..

images (6)Hot coffee warms my cold Friday morning.

The temptation to stay in bed is HUGE…   and why shouldn’t I?

I can’t leave the property anyway…

Boredom has set in for me.

Routine makes me crazy, I need doses of variety.

Or else I explode.

 

Do I want to get up or do I want to snooze…

I can’t choose…

 

I’ll have a snort, and think about it…

Related articles
by

Twist my rubber arm..

images (6)Te Puke and I laugh wisely together

thinking on similar lines.

Sitting stoned on the couch, long after my friend is gone..

Alone here with Mary-Jane, and a glaze in my eye.

 

Puff puff,  toke…

 

My day becomes brighter, and the pleasant numb feeling relaxes my soul.

A friend with weed, is a friend indeed.

Related articles
by

You’re ass is A-class

The fire is roaring, and my nostril is raw.

You’re reading the newspaper,

and I’m quietly checking out your ass…

I spend a lot of time looking at that ass of yours,

and sometimes,  when you’re bending over in front of me,

Image

I think you know that…

Related articles
by

I might be rude, but my manners are not.

I’m high as a kite and can’t stay on track.

There’s so much I could be doing, and I’m trying to do it all…

Sidetracked again…

A trail of mess behind me.

The fire is roaring,  and I’m shedding more and more clothes.

The view is great from up here on the ceiling…

Bouncing around in circles,  floating, flying, twirling.

Eyes watching me from the wall.

Mary-Jane calls me to sit down with her, to sit and twist…

I would be rude not to.

And would I like fries with my order?

Why yes, yes I would.

images (6)

Related articles
by

A bag of white lies…

The thrill isn’t thrilling.

I’m not feeling a buzz.

I’m sick of you trying to rip me off.

I hate the shit that surrounds you – the people aren’t real.

I can tell you’ve been cut, and you won’t ever heal.

Your murderers should be shot.

I hate what people will do for you.

They’ll do it for me, but because of you too.

I like monkey shadows,  and the noise in my ear,

the pole dancing pig with her laugh that I hear…

Down deep in my heart, the truth I do know,

I need a small break, but I  don’t want to let go…images (6)

by

Crab apple jelly, and a snort…

It’s a cold sunny morning here and I’m craving delicious homemade crab-apple jam on toast .

I’ve got a busy day ahead, and the little bag on my dresser waits patiently while I eat…

I’m ready to get cracking now, and my nose tingles with anticipation.

…and UP she goes  ..    Owww    Oww…   OUCH!!

I feel the effect immediately – What a rush!!!

My toes start tapping while my nose runs.

Mimages (6)y head is Crystal clear.

by

Mary-Jane.

It’s the end of my day,  I need to relax. . .   I roll myself a smoke & disappear out to my porch-swing.   The moon is full & stars are out in full force – shining like the beloved memories of loved ones, high above the earth.   I light my smoke & have a deep drag on it, blowing it out again, watching the smoke drift towards heaven.  Another drag, & then another. . .   Oh yes, the stress’s from my day are fading away.   I’m smiling over random thoughts that make no sense at all.   I stretch & yawn.  I’ve had enough of my smoke now, it’s time to go back inside & curl up so I can think my peaceful, mellow thoughts alone.   My eyes will close soon, allowing my mind to open up to the worldImage of the sleeping thinkers.